Control and Flow

Consider how much more ease there might be in our lives if we understood and stepped back from trying to control what is in front of us. Perhaps sleep is the only domain when this focus of control is not operative, for it is certainly a dominant theme in our waking lives. Imagine what life might be like if we did not engage in the following, and engage as if our lives depended on it:

-How we “come across” to others, especially those on whom we want to create a particular impression. Think about the level of effort and resulting stress that comes about in the attempt to control what others think.

-How much we want the person ahead of us in traffic to go faster or move aside or drive differently than they do. And, do these mind bending wishes for it to be different make the ride any more smooth or our arrival at an appointed destination more efficient?

-How urgently we want our spouse or friend or colleague to be different than they are, which usually means thinking and speaking and acting more like us. What angst we go through when this person actually has the temerity to think and act the way they believe is right for them.

-How often do we fail to give an honest “no” or an honest “yes” in situations where we fear the agenda we seek will be altered. We want life to be the way we want life to be, rather than the way it is. As has been said by a very wise person: when you argue with reality and with the way things are, you lose, but only 100% of the time.

And, aren’t all these examples a way of mentally and emotionally fighting against the way things are by trying to control and force them otherwise? Instead, might there be a greater ease and flow for us if we recognized and allowed life to what it is, rather than how we think it “should” be.

And, lest one conclude that such acceptance of life’s flow means a passive stance in the face of (what we see) as injustice, most certainly this is not the case. Where one is called to act in the face of circumstances calling for change, and when the action is combined with the mental clarity and wisdom inherent in acceptance of life on its own terms, the force for change becomes compelling and powerful; certainly more so than the anger, bitterness and resentment often accompanying a non-accepting and controlling way of being.

There is a natural flow of life that reveals itself when the attempt to control, in all its’ guises, is diminished. To become aware of this flow and allow its’ embrace will bring peace and ease, in addition to as much action and activity and call for change as the heart deems wise.

© Copyright - Peter D Axelrod