Viewing Divorce Through Another Lense
As a Tucson divorce attorney and divorce mediator for many years, I have been witness to the untold stress that accompanies the painful and uncertain process of divorce. Divorcing people are looking to find answers for their lives when there appear to be none on the horizon. Certainty is sought and none can be found. Life has been turned upside down. What was known and expected is no longer either. While there are many ways to view this most difficult passage, often looking to a larger perspective can help ease the immediacy of the distress. This can be a time for reflection as well as one where we are doing what needs to be done to get on with life.
At one time or another we have all experienced moments when all was well in our world; all was well not so much because things were going how we wished, but just because. Something fell into place in our minds, even at times in the midst of difficulty, and we felt peaceful and how we always hoped we could feel, even if our outer world seemed to belie this peaceful feeling. We could not explain this sense of contentment, however short lived; it was just there, visited upon us from an apparently unknown place, a place whose doorway was unseen and whose access was seemingly random. We might have experienced a momentary longing to remain in this place, at the same time fearing it would soon vanish. However momentarily we may have resided there, this place is real, and it is one that is possible to settle into for far longer periods than a moment. It is called by some our true nature; it is for each individual to find the road that leads there.
What has been done in the following paragraphs is to set out pairs of seeming contradictions. Each pair appears to make little sense if seen from the perspective of our everyday point of view. However, each pair points to another perspective, one that lives in us but has been obscured by the way we normally view how life is. These pairs are not necessarily to “think” about or try to figure out in a logical way. They are not logical from the perspective of our everyday world. Rather, they point us to another view; a view that contains the wholeness and lack of division that characterizes our fleeting moments of peace and “all rightness” that seem so random. The perspective to which these pairs point must be felt into with a suspension of logic and analysis. Doing so by reflecting on them may help us open to a view closer to us than we might imagine.
Loss is Gain, Gain is Loss
Nothing to Do and Nothing is Undone
No One to Help, Everyone Served
Success Appears when Achievement Disappears
The Seeker is the Sought
In the letting Go is the Rejoining
Nothing Fixed, Nothing Broken
Not Knowing, Everything is Known
Surrender is Victory
The Prison Exit is Barred by the Gateless Gate
Meet Life on its’ own Terms
Let It Be.